Monday, December 21, 2009

Seahawks coach calls Tebow a "dirtbag" ... in a good way

Hey, dirtbag! I mean that as the highest compliment!”

Jim Mora is not pleased with his team lately. He’s called for the Seahawks to look deep and find their inner dirtbags. That’s right, he wants dirtbags specifically, and he’s done us the favor of spelling out his personal definition:

"I mean it in a way that the guy just lives and breathes football. ‘I've just gotta win, I've gotta knock someone down. I want to put someone on their butt every single play’ . . . I don't mean a guy that goes out and drinks and drives and speeds or is bad to women or treats people poorly . . . I'm talking about in the confines of those 6 seconds between the snap and the whistle is a dirtbag."Got that sleazeballs? He’s not looking for your kind around downtown Seattle. You too, degenerates.

To be perfectly clear, let’s not confuse our bags here. A windbag would be the guy who only talks football while an airbag just breathes (but not necessarily lives) the game. And a sandbag wouldn't put another player on his butt unless that guy ran straight into them.

The only question left for us is if Mel Kiper Jr. would do us the favor of incorporating "dirtbag" gradations into his draft analysis because now we've got questions. It's pretty fair to say that Tim Tebow was a bigger dirtbag than Sam Bradford throughout their college careers, but does that mean he'll be a bigger dirtbag as a pro? And if so, do you think Tim would be a Mora-level dirtbag? The Pandora's Box of Dirtbag Classification has officially been opened.

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