Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tebow to go pro: Golf?


Another letter today, but this one is trying to lure Timmy away from football to play golf! We think it's to distract him, and us, from this weekend's game against Bama. You be the judge:

Dear Tim Tebow,

Do you play golf... even a little bit? Eh- who cares? We'll teach you.

Look, I don't want to sound mean, but most pro scouts don't think you have a long and fruitful career waiting for you in the NFL, at least not at quarterback, which I know is where you want to play. Sure, some team will snap you up because of your leadership and intense work ethic, but lets face it, you are a fullback or tightend, and no fullback or tightend has ever lead a team. Plus, and I hate to break this to you, football is kind of tired of you.

Now golf, here is a sport where you can shine. It's just you, the ball and the course. Think how many babies you can kiss while you're playing, as you stroll down the fairways to your ball. People love your high fives after the game, but now you can give them in the game.

Think how many people you'll be able to reach. Golf's sponsorship opportunities are limitless and you don't have to wear a helmet all the time and hide your beautiful face and message. The passages on your eyeblack... keep them! It will be your thing (have you seen the pants we let John Daly wear?). Plus, now you have a hat, shirt, pants and golf bag to decorate with your favorite Bible verses.

Football is full of thugs, druggies and general creeps. You are a bastion of hope and inspiration in that muck. Golf has now had its first failed drug test and we're currently working on adding infidelity and lying to the mix. The way is being paved for you. Golf needs you Tim- and we can keep you star shining bright.

Please consider these words. I will look forward to seeing you on the course.

Sincerely,

PGA Tour/Golf Sponsors/Golf Fans/Golf In General


PS- ROLL TIDE!



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