Friday, March 12, 2010

Tebow-palooza tour dates

The Tampa Tribune has a recap of the Tebow-palooza tour dates so far. But, as Gators, we're not buying the pack with the dark side on March 7. Maybe that was Bizzaro Tebow, but not Timmy T. And even Tebow could lift the Health Care reform bills more than 20 times.

I am an avowed Tebow liker. I admire the way the kid has gone about his game and his life. I give him mostly credit for reaching out to anyone who might help him. He will not throw in the towel.

True, things are getting sticky. During a telephone fan forum with Jacksonville Jaguars general manager Gene Smith on Tuesday night, an informal vote showed that a majority of Jaguars fans polled didn't want their team to draft Tebow, the hometown hero.

But Tony Dungy is in Tebow's corner. So are two other former Bucs head coaches, Sam Wyche and Jon Gruden, both of whom worked with Tebow and pronounced him fit for duty. Wouldn't it be something if Tebow comes out next week throwing righty? You know, Gruden's orders.

Among the others Tebow has worked with in recent weeks: former NFL quarterback and offensive coordinator Zeke Bratkowski, Arizona State offensive coordinator Noel Mazzone, Montreal Alouettes head coach Marc Trestman and Miami Dolphins quarterbacks coach David Lee. Coming soon: Former Gators basketball star David Lee, David Lee Roth and a seance with Bruce Lee.

Here are other people Tebow has met, the Tribune has learned.

Feb. 13: Working way through former Bucs head coaches, Tebow throws for Raheem Morris, who talks about Josh Freeman the whole time; Tebow shows wallet-sized photo of new throwing motion to Ray Perkins when they bump into each other in Tampa airport.

Feb. 19: Tebow throws 100 balls to current Bucs receivers at sports performance clinic in Bradenton. Current Bucs receivers drop 81 of them.

Feb. 20: Tebow visits Brett Favre in Mississippi, practices follow-through and retiring.

Feb. 22: Tebow uses new throwing motion to knock clowns into dunking booth at Florida State Fair after clown in furry purple hat asks "Oh, didn't Coachy-poo Meyer teach y'all how to throw up there."

March 3: Tebow meets Joe Namath, Joe Montana, Ken Stabler, Dan Marino, John Elway. Group travels to Johnson Space Center in Houston, goes up in KC-135 Stratotanker to simulate zero gravity, all-time greats observe Tebow's new motion, get dizzy. Namath mistakes Marino for Suzy Kolber. Montana insists on being addressed as President Rutherford B. Hayes. Plane descends rapidly.

March 4: Former Bucs head coach Richard Williamson found outside Tebow's door at 2 in morning with ideas scribbled on inside flap of weathered 1991 Bucs media guide. Police arrive, gently tell Williamson that Tim wants him to leave - again.

March 6: Tebow spends day with "Avatar" director James Cameron, works on new computer-generated image effects throwing mechanics. Tebow invited to swinging party at Playboy mansion. Drinks Fresca until dawn, convinces all Bunnies to defect.

March 7: Whirlwind nationwide tour begins after Tebow attends sleepover at Archie and Peyton and Eli's house, is made honorary Manning in secret ceremony.

March 8: Tebow throws before United Nations General Assembly. Only nation of Georgia refuses to watch. Tebow visits White House, works out with president, improves bench press, lifting Health Care Reform bills over head 20 times.

March 9: Tebow takes overnight flight, travels to Vatican. Pope blows out shoulder demonstrating 15-yard out for Tebow, who thanks His Holiness and signs his mitre.

And if Tebow comes out on pro day in a Bruce Lee yellow and black suit, well, even better.

Photo courtesy J.T.

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